Being a mother is a huge adjustment, that you must not take lightly. You are not super mom, you are a human being with a body filled with emotions, and love. You have the ability to give birth to a baby, two babies, 3 babies and so on, that in itself is an amazing thing.Not to mention being able to give your baby the best milk on this planet from your own body, incredible ladies, WE deserve an award, a day of sleep and food. Just in case you ever doubted your body just know its amazing.
But lets take a look into what I thought was baby blues according to http://americanpregnancy.org/first-year-of-life/baby-blues/ you may feel confused, have mood swings and did you know “approximately 70-80% of all new moms experience some negative feelings or mood swings after given birth of their child”. I am here to tell you that the doctor did hand me a pamphlet of the causes and symptoms. Yeah, so brilliant, it’s so generic, it just said to consultant a physician if you have any of these symptoms. The thing about generic words are sometimes when I would tell the doctor what I was feeling the response I would get was "this is normal", ummm yeah I realized that from the pamphlet but, what do I do about it?!
Well, I did what I knew back then nothing, here I was 6 months into my first born child’s life, still feeling sad, sleepless, crying silently so I wouldn’t wake her, I felt like I didn’t know who I was. I never knew that being a new mom could be so happy and sad at the same time. I developed anxiety, I felt hopeless, my body started to ache in pains, some days I would eat, some days I wouldn’t. I thought to myself countless times “Am I really a good mother”? My husband seen a change in my body language, he started to ask questions, he suggested that maybe I need to talk to someone, maybe even a therapist.
In the world of Black culture therapy means its something really wrong with me, I'm crazy, I'm not stable or can’t handle anything, or so I thought! By the time she was eight months I had lost who I was, I literally would say to myself in the mirror that “this is not me”. My first thought was I feel fine, its just a phase, but a phase does not linger. I agreed to it, I started out at http://www.melangehs.com/ on Scaleybark Rd. They took an assessment and other various test on me and wanted me to take medication, my first thought was I am not that crazy, when I look back on it. The women i seen was just that a therapist, she and I had no connection. I'm not even sure that she had kids of her own, maybe that is why we never connected. So I then stop going and decided to try a few other therapist in Charlotte, NC. I finally found one after three others at http://www.familyfirstcommunity.com/ where I was blessed beyond measure with a women named Gina, By the way we still keep in touch! She assessed me, looked at how well put I was on the outside, how well my daughter looked, but yet as soon as she closed the door I would cry out for help because I didn’t know what else to do. She simply asked “Why was I crying?” I replied “I don’t know”, as my eyes was so watered I couldn’t see, my nose dripping everywhere. I just didn’t know anything except for tending to my daughters needs. She then tells me “ I am a great mother”, that my problem is I have postpartum depression. Yeah I’ve heard of it in a Pamphlet but never quite understood what it felt like, what it looked like. She told me that 1 in 4 women who have what is called baby blues go on to develop PostPartum Depression. I asked her how she knew and I’ve only been here for a half hour and she says because I too had postpartum depression. From that moment, I knew that we would be great together, I trusted her with my thoughts whether it was bad or good, I knew she understood what I was going through.
It’s time to start talking about this because I know that postpartum depression is real!
So I graduated from what seemed to be the end of the world to a bright beginning, a better outlook on motherhood and the keys to getting through postpartum depression. I now help other women in Charlotte in person or through social media on my page The Beauty of Motherhood, where I help other mothers through postpartum depression, with breastfeeding challenges, pumping support, childbirth education and more. I want all ladies in the world to know that you are not alone and to speak up, dont be afraid because it is normal to feel like this, but remember you too can get through it just like I did.
Watch out for my next blog, on how to take care of yourself to prevent PPD!!
join me on my website, on Facebook in my group to get all the support you need, and just wait and see when I open up my non profit to help women in person. https://theartsofbreastfee.wixsite.com/website